• Trish French, MSW, CAP, LCSW

It may be difficult to imagine a life without painful emotions, bad habits and suffering when you've been stuck reliving your past for decades. Trauma clouds your vision and takes away any dreams for a better future. You have lived in this pain for most of your life, so how could life be any different?

I'm here to give you hope for the future, one where you're in control. You will finally break free from your past abuse and reinvent your life the way you desire. This article will give you insight into what life can offer after healing from trauma, how survivors are moving on to a life full of happiness, joy and self-care, as well as the key to finding your purpose and passions. We will discuss what hopes, dreams and goals survivors have, and how they maintain their emotional balance.

Think about it... What will your life look like once you heal from your trauma?

It's a beautiful moment for those who have already crossed over, those who have created a fresh start, feeling grounded in happiness and self-love. Maintaining and enjoying life is different for everyone, but the common thread is love. Above all else, we establish the ability to love yourself and those around you.

Everyone craves something different out of this life, and that’s what makes us unique, but if you don’t have positivity and love daily, you will always feel like something is missing. This is why you must work on establishing self-worth and self-love. This is more than just loving what is in the mirror. You will need to uncover what gives you strength mentally, emotionally and physically. Establishing self-worth will provide you with a deeper appreciation for who you are, what you have been through and what you are capable of.

If you have been through childhood sexual abuse, give yourself a dose of honesty and love... You are STRONG. You may have difficult moments that knock you off your feet, but continue to fight. It takes strength to keep moving forward, pushing through your day, but it's smarter to have direction and a plan.

I want you to realize that your value is not tied to your past and self-worth is something that you determine, not others.

Investing your time and energy into a solution, not just a treatment, can serve you long after healing. It will bring out the best version of yourself, becoming an individual who is in control of their emotions, while able to respect others. You can lead a peaceful life that isn’t focused on reliving your past over and over again. Days are smooth and enjoyable. Even when they’re not, you have the ability to handle situations with grace, making life easier. This is the type of life our survivors achieve.

I know some of you are tired and may feel like giving up. You have searched for a solution but still struggle with your pain.

What’s really holding you back is not effort, it’s guidance. You don't have the proper skills and knowledge to heal your past abuse. Our approach creates a positive foundation in all areas of life. We can all agree that a strong, kind and successful person is what every family and relationship need.

All survivors desire a passionate and healthy relationship. This is only achieved by focusing on a deeper level of healing, working through every element of your past abuse. Once you accomplish this, nothing can stop you from reaching that next level of personal success. Here, you start to see a measurable change in how you think, act and behave.

I love seeing our clients fight for their marriages, repairing their relationship with their children, showing up to work with a new attitude and are motivated again. We focus on personal growth and success every step of the way so you see measurable change.

What you should be focused on is being kind and strong to yourself. Eight weeks and you won’t need a leader, you will be a leader… someone who can protect themselves and others, not quick to temper, and is reliable.

The fact is, you can be strong for others, once you start making strong choices for yourself. This is a major connection to understand. If you hold yourself to a higher standard, you can replace how others have trained you to be.

I work with strong-minded professionals, people who have drive, but can’t figure out how to heal personally from their past. I can take the struggle of 5-7 years of therapy and within two months, bring passion and purpose back in your life. No more struggling to set personal boundaries or having self-doubt, settling for less in relationships and jobs, thinking it’s “the best you can do.”

You will live a calm and peaceful life, feel emotionally connected to yourself and others and live your life full of purpose and passion. This is what life can offer when you commit to a new way of healing. You can experience happiness daily.

I'm sure this is attractive to those who feel lost or stuck with their past abuse, and it should be! We can save you much time and energy, something very precious. You can’t buy this back.

We all can agree that time is invaluable; so is our personal energy and effort. You can’t get them back. This ties into self-worth and self-love, how we view our value.

Let’s take a moment to gain some clarity on your self-worth by answering the questions below. Simply answer with a "Yes" or "No." At the end of the questionnaire, I'll discuss the purpose of this exercise.

  1. Do you value others' opinions above your own?

  2. Do you feel a sense of anxiety and tension around others?

  3. Are you scared of sharing your authentic self?

  4. Do you allow people to walk over you or mistreat you?

  5. Do you have issues with speaking up for yourself or expressing your needs?

  6. Do you struggle to maintain healthy habits and routines? (exercise, nutrition, self-care)

  7. Do you have a lack of boundaries or have toxic people in your life?

Now add up the total number of answers you selected YES. The purpose of these questions is to reveal the impact trauma has caused in your life. Even if you answered one question with a “Yes,” your past abuse isn't healed; it's not resolved.

This is not just a list of questions; it's a deeper dive into what's holding you back. I encourage those who answered honestly and need help to reach out to us. We address all elements of childhood sexual abuse and give you more than just healing. We help you develop a plan for the future, to experience ongoing growth and transformation.

This should be the greatest motivation for those who are currently suffering from sexual abuse… A brighter future, one filled with happiness and love. This is possible, with a solid plan and a constant motivator during your healing.

In my years of practice, I know that confidence comes from having the right knowledge and direction. Think about how confidence will change your life... being able to choose the right people, positive individuals that build you up, as well as having enough self-love and self-care daily, while being able to express deep gratitude for life. The possibilities are open, as long as you are open to change and have a commitment to healing.

We all commit to something in our lives. You can commit to old beliefs, fears and stay in your comfort zone, or you can commit to a life where you’re in control of your actions and emotions.

So many situations in life can be handled easily, but when your head is cluttered with the past, it can trigger harmful behaviors and patterns.

We all have a shared desire to receive deep, passionate love. The unfortunate truth is, if you refuse to seek treatment and healing, you will never experience profound love. Time does not heal all wounds, and if you have waited decades to address your past abuse, it's not too late.

You may have a fear of opening up to new people and putting yourself out there for the world. It scares you, leaves you confused or angry with yourself. It takes the option of a great love off the table for you. When looking at your past relationships, you haven't experienced that passionate love with someone else; you've attracted toxic people. If you are searching for deeper relationships, you will need to first put in the time, energy and focus into your own healing, then you will attract healthy, loving individuals.

Toxic people hide their insecurities and pain in relationships, using power and manipulation to control others. They use charm and empty words, which cause you to miss or ignore their red flags. You feel stuck in toxic relationships and low about yourself, so you stay in dead-end relationships, even though you feel it's not right. You will continue to attract the wrong people if you don’t change priorities. Additionally, if you are fighting for them more than yourself, you are wasting precious time.

Attracting Passionate Love

Love by definition is an intense feeling of deep affection.

I'll be straightforward; it takes hard work. I know all survivors want genuine love. The key is learning how to love yourself first. When you find the right person, you will need to know how to love another in a healthy, supportive way for it to last forever. It all starts with your decision to move forward with your life. Putting your healing first is such a powerful choice, especially if you struggle with painful emotions daily. I'm sure you have a deep desire for balance and peace. When you fully heal from your sexual abuse, that is when your mind becomes calm.  

If you don't reach balance and peace, think about what it will cost you. What will happen if you don’t change?

The answer is simple, yet tragic; you won't find passionate love. Even if you find a positive, loving relationship before healing, your fear, anxiety and anger will push away good people, or worse, you’ll drag them down with you.

The fact is, those who are happy and successful will not stick around emotionally unstable people. It's easier to succeed when we remove those who are unstable.

When you feel balanced with your emotions, you live in the present and enjoy small moments each day. You will have a deeper connection with your partner, laughing more with loved ones and friends. You will no longer live in your past pain or worry about the future. You will have a complete focus on your life in the present, allowing you to feel joy and happiness.

Think about how long you’ve been suffering... 20, 30 or 40 years? It’s time to live a life of confidence and love.

Now that you have clarity on what your life can look like after healing from childhood sexual abuse, we discuss how we are healing survivors within months in our next article. We will compare treatment options and explore the old way of treating trauma vs our new, modern solution. You will learn what makes our approach unique and how we are generating results quicker than other treatments. When you are successful, we are successful. You will hear more about our mission and what drives us to advocate for survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

Let’s take a moment to recap on how to live your best life after healing.

Prioritizing your healing leads to…

  • Having the ability to love yourself and feel worthy of a better life.

  • Building a new identity, normalizing self-care, creating balance and feeling in control of your emotions.

  • Experiencing deep, passionate love in your relationships. Building intimacy and trust through open communication with your partner.

  • Becoming a role model for your children, feeling more connected and establishing a close bond.

  • Pursuing your dreams and focusing on a career you love.

  • Having abundant energy, joy and love to give back to others.

The key element is knowing you can have the life you deserve when you prioritize yourself and your healing..